A radio station in Northwest Ohio recently yanked “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” a song written in the 1940s that has become a popular Christmas classic because it supposedly promotes rape culture. If you haven’t heard this song it is a romantic skit involving a couple enjoying some time alone and the hour is getting late and the young woman announces that she needs to go not because she wants too but because she is worried about impropriety. The gentleman uses every excuse he can think of to get her to stay a little longer and in the end, he convinces her to stay. He doesn’t physically force or coerce her to stay and in fact, the tone used throughout the song suggests that the woman is enjoying the attention and open to staying. When you look at the history of the song it was written by Frank Loesser and he wrote this for his wife and they performed this song as a duet, it was meant to be a love song.
This song has nothing to do with rape culture and it doesn’t illustrate a sexual assault. This song is really nothing more than a window into the past illustrating the societal norms applied to young men and women of the day. While I don’t believe in censorship I can list quite a few modern songs that have offensive lyrics that promote violence and sexual assault but no one is going after those songs. What is happening to this world we live in? We live in a society where people are okay with casual sex, abortion, and violence towards those they disagree with yet a Christmas song written 74 years ago triggers outrage.
The real problem here is that society has gone crazy. The feminist movement is no longer about gaining equality for women it is about stripping men of their power. As a mother to boys, I worry about what the future looks like for them. Do I have to worry that their first kiss will be classified as a sexual assault? I sincerely hope not but if we keep going down this path I am afraid that this fear will become a reality. All I can do is raise my own children to be respectful and mindful of their actions. I know that a lot of people are going to disagree with me on this but I really think that banning a song from 74 years ago is crossing over a line. Soon we will have to censor everything and what will we lose in the process only our first amendment rights.
Photo by Public Domain Photography from Pexels
Life in the United States has become fraught with political, racial and sexual tension. You can’t turn on the television or open a paper without being inundated with all of the anger and animosity being played out all across the country. It’s scary for me as an adult to witness all this turmoil and its even scarier for my kids. My husband and I have chosen to not shelter our children from the chaos of the world instead we have used current events to inspire discussion. Through discussion, we have been able to answer a lot of their questions and we have helped them feel safe in this scary world. I believe that change starts small and that by raising my children to be intelligent, honest, and compassionate people they will become productive adults who can impact the world positively.
Knowing that I am raising good people does my heart good and fills me with hope for the future but still, I am exhausted by all of the anger. What happened to civility? Why can’t people share different opinions with each other and engage in civil discussion? We should celebrate our differences in opinion and work to find common ground. Instead, people are happy to tear one another apart, disown family members, shame one another and verbally and physically assault others. History has shown us so many times in the past the consequence of not finding common ground. It was a 156 years ago when political, racial and sexual tensions ripped this nation apart and started the Civil War. I wish people would stop and think about their actions and reevaluate what is important.
This is the advice that I have given to my children: Treat others with respect and use your voice to calmly express your opinions because nobody understands someone who is yelling. Always try to view the situation from someone else’s perspective and do not let pride, anger or passion prevent you from seeing the truth. If you are passionate about something make sure you have researched your opinion so you can engage in intelligent debate. Most importantly never forget the value of honesty and integrity.
It’s not our differences that separate us in this world it is our actions.
-Hectic Eclectic Mama