My oldest is almost 13 years old and he is a crazy, funny, unique individual but recently the terrible teen disease has begun to plague him. If you have a child between the ages of 11-13 who is exhibiting the following symptoms your child might also have this obnoxious disease.
Suddenly knows everything under the sun
Strange odors emitting from body
Refuses to change clothing
In all honesty the terrible teen stage is not that different from the terrible twos with the exception of temper tantrums. So far I haven’t seen any signs that my 12 year will fling himself to the floor in fits of emotion but I will keep you updated on that situation. I survived the terrible twos so I am pretty confident that I can handle the terrible teen stage too but only time will tell.
This is such an awkward time for kids because they are in between childhood and adulthood and everything in life seems dire. It’s equally painful for us parents because we have to come to grips with the fact that our children are no longer little caterpillars. In fact they are going through the final metamorphosis to become full-fledged butterfly’s ready to make their way in the world. It’s a beautiful, awkward, and painful transition for both parties.
Toddlers afflicted with the terrible twos act out because they are learning how to communicate and understand the world around them. Pre-teens and teenagers are attempting to do the same thing they are learning how to communicate, understand and participate in a world of adults all while dealing with the physical and hormonal changes brought on by puberty. I remember living through this stage of life and I wouldn’t go back if you paid me a million bucks.
Whenever the eye rolling or moodiness gets to me I do my best to remind myself of my own teen years. I draw on empathy, patience and my abundance of love for him to help me through the trying times. If your child is also going through the terrible teen stage remember to…
pick your battles
follow through on punishment
keep open lines of communication
help them set short term and long term goals
keep life simple when they are feeling overwhelmed
remember to tell them you love them often
keep an arsenal of room freshner on hand and a window cracked for fresh air
The terrible teen stage doesn’t last forever and with faith, love and family on our side we can get through any challenge life might throw our way.
A couple of weeks ago my cousin lost her fight with cancer leaving behind her husband, her son, daughter-in-law and her unborn grandchild. It’s never easy when someone we love passes away but it is more difficult when they pass away so young and with so much life to experience. But, I know that her legacy will live on and that her granddaughter will always be surrounded by her grandmothers love.
I remember the first time I met my cousin it was 1990 and I was six years old and a bit shy. We were attending our very first family reunion and this was my first time meeting my 2nd, 3rd and 4th cousins. I remember feeling out of place and nervous meeting all of these new faces so I found myself a quiet place to hide. It wasn’t long before a pretty lady with sandy colored hair and glasses came and sat down with me. The first thing that stood out to me was that she didn’t speak to me like I was a baby she actually engaged me in real conversation and I remember that made me feel special. The family reunion was being hosted at her house so she gave me a tour and showed me where I could grab a pop from the coolers. She introduced me to her son who was about my age and her cat “bud” who I instantly adored. She made me feel welcome and she helped me join in on the fun everyone else was experiencing. Because of her the family reunions will always have a special place in my heart and in my memories.
Over the years we would meet again and again at family reunions, weddings, days at the beach and a few times her and her husband joined us for campfires at a local state park. I have a tendency to fade to the back and observe and she always pulled me into the thick of things making me step out of my comfort zone and for that I will forever be thankful. I remember one wedding we attended her and her sister helped me sneak into the men’s bathroom because the line to the women’s bathroom was wrapped around the building. They made sure the bathroom was empty and stood guard so I could go. It’s such a silly memory but it still brings a smile to my face today. Later when I was a teenager the whole family met at the beach to play in Lake Michigan and ride ski-dos. I had never been on a ski-do and I kinda wanted to do it but being more reserved and shy I decided to sit on the beach instead watching everyone out their splashing through the waves. It wasn’t long before my cousin came along and whisked me over to her nephews ski-do she had arranged for his wife to take me out on the water. Somehow she knew I wanted to go out there and she made sure that happened even though I never voiced the desire.
She was the kind of person that always went above and beyond to make people comfortable and happy. She was the type of person that you could meet one time and you would always remember her kindness. I wish I had an opportunity to tell her how cool I thought she was and how thankful I was for her always including me in the fun. It always seems to happen that way we don’t realize how much a person has touched our lives until we are no longer able to tell them. It still amazes me how much one person can really touch your heart and it makes me realize the importance of every interaction we have with others. Every interaction is an opportunity to impact someone’s life in a positive way.
I will never understand why the ones we love are sometimes taken from us prematurely. I wish she had the chance to meet her granddaughter and I wish she had the chance to grow old with her husband who was truly her soul mate. The hardest part of dealing with death is seeing the pain in the eyes of those closest to the deceased knowing that there isn’t anything you can say or do to ease that pain. I pray that they are able to find peace in the memories she left behind and that as time moves forward they will be able to as well.
In honor of my cousin give someone you love a call and tell them how much you love them and how much they mean to you. Be mindful of how you interact with others and try to leave a positive impression.
Puberty stinks literally and figuratively! It all started back around Christmas time my husband and I noticed that an odd odor was coming from our oldest child who had just turned twelve. We purchased him his own supply of deodorant and explained the importance of personal hygiene. We expected the odor to go away but it only got worse this is when my husband took our son down to the health and beauty aisle a Walmart to purchase additional tools to battle the stench. They came home armed with manly soap, a large scrubby brush and a loofah. During their outing my husband again went over the basics of hygiene and we crossed our fingers and pinched our noses hopeful that we had won the battle. Unfortunately, we were not victorious and the stench continued in fact it seemed to get worse.
I really didn’t know what to do and I could tell that it was really beginning to bother him as well. Luckily, we didn’t have to worry about kids bullying him at school since he is homeschooled. Still this was a difficult situation for the entire family and it made simple things like car trips almost impossible. Finally, after months of battling this atrocious smell my father suggested that we try an antiperspirant instead of deodorant and he recommended a brand that he liked. I wasn’t super hopeful because at this point we had tried pretty much every product sold over the counter but I decided it wouldn’t hurt to try one more product.
At first it didn’t seem to be working but now I can say with confidence that after several days of use my son now smells human. I can give him a hug without my nose and eyes watering and we can ride in the car without having to crack a window. This is why it takes a village to raise a child. It is so important to have people around you that you can trust to provide sound judgement especially in moments like these when your own judgement is being addled by a gruesome stench.
If you happen to have a pre-teen that is being followed by a similar odor I am here to tell you that it is normal and there is hope. Sometimes you just have to keep trying different soaps and deodorants/antiperspirants until you find the one that works best for your child’s personal chemistry. Just remember to keep air circulating at all times and never I repeat never turn on the heater in the car without cracking the window first!
Many women like to argue that abortion is their right because they have the right to do what they want with their own bodies. Some argue that abortions are necessary to help women who have been victims of rape and incest. Others think that it is some sort of rite of passage and that all women should experience an abortion at least once in their lifetime. I find this not only troubling but down right horrifying that so many people are okay with women aborting their babies. In fact the state of New York just signed The Reproductive Health Act into law which allows women to abort their babies up to 24 weeks for any reason and up to the baby’s due date if the mother expresses a health issue like stress. I don’t care what the circumstances are abortion is murder and murder should be illegal.
Abortion statistics from the CDC and the Guttmacher Institute show that the largest number of abortions occur among unmarried women in their 20s. Less than 1% of women who underwent abortions reported being a victim of rape or incest as their reason for receiving the procedure. In fact most women who received the procedure reported that they were making the decision because the baby would impact their life path in what they felt was a negative way. Basically, they made a mistake and instead of taking on the challenge of motherhood they instead want to erase their actions with an abortion.
I believe that women have the right to make choices with their own body but abortion is not a choice it is an immoral act. If you are not ready for children for one reason or another then don’t engage in sexual activity abstinence won’t kill you I promise. Whenever you engage in sexual activity there is a possibility that you will get pregnant and you have a responsibility to carry that child to viability. If you don’t want to be a parent you can place your child up for adoption there are so many wonderful people out there who want to be parents.
I don’t believe that children are consequences. I believe that children are blessings from God. As a society we should be finding ways to help young people find the support they need to make good choices. Women need to set good examples for their daughters so their daughters can make good decisions about sexual relationships. Men need to set good examples for their sons and teach their sons that they have responsibilities as well. Hollywood actresses shouting their abortions shouldn’t be role models for our children instead they should be cautionary tales uses to teach life lessons. We need to teach our children that life is not a video game where you can just hit reset and start fresh. In life OUR CHOICES determine the path we take in life and we have a responsibility to accept the path and learn how to navigate the rough patches.
Abortion doesn’t stop you from being a parent it makes you a parent who decided that you were too selfish and scared to allow your child the right to life.
Last night Northwest Ohio was gifted several inches of fresh snow and my kids were itching to try out their new sleds they received at Christmas time. This afternoon with the sun shining above we set out to our local metro park to test out the sleds. We weren’t the only ones inspired to try out the sled hill and found ourselves surrounded by dozens of families outfitted for some winter fun. These parents took great care to prepare their kids for the winter weather so that they could stay safe and warm. Each child had on a nice winter coat, a cozy hat, mittens and snow boots. Some had fancy snowboards and some had old fashioned flying saucer sleds like my own three and a few had some homemade sleds that were quite impressive. Everyone was having a great time but then I began to notice that something had been forgotten. Something very important had been forgotten a lesson that all parents should teach their children so that they can participate in society productively….consideration.
When we initially arrived at the sled hill I reminded my children to pay attention to those around them. I advised them to walk up the side of the hill and stay out of the way as others were sledding downhill. We also discussed how to handle a situation in case they accidentally bumped into someone. Our discussion wasn’t new and to be honest I really don’t need to remind them at this point because over the years they have caught on how to behave in public (at home is a different story), but as a parent I feel obligated to remind them before setting them free on the public just in case memory fails them. Apparently, I was the only parent who had this conversation with their children as we saw children walking up the hill and even stopping in front of others who were attempting to sled downhill. We saw kids purposely aiming for other kids and unfortunately there was a group of young teens who decided that yelling expletives downhill was appropriate. I looked around at the smiling parents who seemed to be oblivious to how this type of behavior could cause injury. The only time I heard parents call out to their kids was to remind them to zip up or put their gloves back on not once commenting on their actual behavior.
As I was pondering whether I was over reacting or not I saw the most horrific incident. A teenager on a sled aimed himself at a three year old who was trying to get up from her sled. He hit the toddler’s sled in such a way that the three year old literally went airborne flipping up and over her sled and landing on her face. As I am running and inquiring if she is okay I hear the strangest noise behind me, laughter. Not only was the teen laughing but most of the parents and teens at the bottom of the hill were laughing as well talking about how funny it was that this little girl went flying up in the air. One 13 year old girl started yelling that it was worthy of “Funniest Home Videos”. The teen who had hit the young girl was busy getting high fives from his friends and parents yet never once stopped to find out if the little girl was okay. Luckily she was bundled up pretty good so despite the face full of snow she received she is okay but I can’t even imagine how scary that had to have been and then to have so many people laughing adding insult to injury.
My kids made me very proud when they rushed down the sled hill to see if the little girl was okay. Maybe I am over reacting but watching young and old delight in an accident that could have ended very badly was troubling. Parents take so much care making sure their kids are dressed warmly and that they are fully stocked with hot chocolate and snacks but never once thought to outfit their kids with kindness, compassion and consideration. I find it more than troubling that we live in a society where people are forgetting to be kind, compassionate and considerate. That we live in a society where parents model inappropriate responses to real life situations. As parents we have a duty to society to raise our children to be the productive members who will positively impact the world we live in.
What do you think? Am I over reacting? How would you have reacted if your child laughed while another child was injured? Let me know in the comments below because I would love to have others chime in on this issue.
When my husband and I first got married almost 13 years ago I did not know a thing about budgeting or meal planning. This lead to us spending an exorbitant amount of money on groceries every week and put us deeply into debt. It took hitting rock bottom for me to realize that I needed to change the way we were doing things and this is when I began my education into home management. I realized that I needed to reduce our grocery budget and I had two options stop eating all together or make food from scratch. I enjoy food too much to give it up all together so I decided to start making as much as possible from scratch. It didn’t take long to see the benefit of making meals instead of buying processed food.
Over the years I have had people ask me how I am able to save so much money on groceries and when I explain how, I get the same token excuse, “I wish I could do that but I just can’t cook”. I have talked with moms who are spending $250 a week on microwaveable food because it is quick and easy but unwilling to try a different approach because they don’t think they can cook or simply don’t want to try. The truth is anyone can cook it just takes a little confidence, patience and motivation. The motivation part is easy if your trying to save money but I understand that confidence and patience can take a little time to acquire.
My advice is to start small don’t attempt to cook everything in your cookbook instead find a few simple recipes and practice those. Once you have them down you will feel more confident and with confidence comes patience. Soon you will be confident enough to tackle a variety of recipes. You may even find that you enjoy cooking because not only are you saving money but your feeding your family food that is actually good for them. Even if you don’t find enjoyment in cooking for your family you should still do it because like all chores it is necessary. Processed foods aren’t meant to be consumed at every meal despite what advertisers may tell us because they are too high in sodium, sugar, fat and too many chemicals to list.
Processed Food=Disease + Debt
If your grocery budget is out of control and your freezer is packed with frozen meals than this message is for you. In order to get control of your budget you need to scrounge up a few recipes and get into your kitchen. I know that it’s scary but in this wonderful world of technology you can find YouTube videos, blog post and Pinterest boards to help you navigate your kitchen. YOU CAN COOK! Your family will appreciate it, your health will appreciate it and you will appreciate the extra money in your pocket book. Start the New Year off with a plan to live better and feed your family better food.
Ugh, the dreaded socialization question. While I enjoy talking about homeschooling the one question I abhor is whether or not I socialize my kids. The answer to this question is always a polite yes and I explain how we are engaged in community activities and that we attend church where the kids belong to a youth group. The response I often want to give is not as polite and sounds something more like “well they haven’t peed on the floor recently and nobody has been bitten so I think they are okay”. I swear one of these days this will be the response that accidentally slips out when asked this frustrating question.
What exactly is socialization? The definition from Merriam Webster basically states that it is a process where individuals learn how to interact in society observing societal norms. Why do people think that the only way to achieve this process in children is to have them immersed in a traditional brick and mortar institution? I agree that children need to learn how to act appropriately in society. This is why we take our kids out into the community to learn how to behave in a variety of different venues and how to communicate with not only their peers but with all people. I disagree that “schools” are the only place where children can receive this type of education. In fact I am not sure how well schools do in this area but you won’t catch me asking a public school mom if her child is socialized.
All parents not just homeschooler’s need to take an active role in teaching their children how to interact and communicate in society. I have had moms ask me the question about socialization while their “socialized public schooler” has her face buried in a phone in an attempt to avoid any and all interaction. It is our responsibility as parents to teach our children how to behave through dialouge and by modeling the correct behavior. The issue of socialization needs to be addressed by all parents not just those who homeschool which is why I find this question so frustrating. Perhaps, the reason today’s society struggles so much with “appropriate” behavior is because the vast majority of children are not being taught by their parents how to behave and communicate.
I am confident that my children are learning how to behave in society and that they will one day be productive adults. Each one of my children is able to make friends, communicate with people of all ages and they all behave well in public. To be honest this is a realtively easy thing to instill in children who are homeschooled because we do not have the issue of peer pressure to deal with and thank goodness. Are homeschoolers unsocialized? No they are not, this is simply a misconception and a negative stereotype often used to undermine the decision to break away and take a different path in educating our children. Instead of undermining eachother lets have a real dialouge where we discuss and learn from eachother how to raise children into productive members of society. That is a conversation worth having!
It is a family tradition in our house to read both The Grinch Who Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss and A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. I love both of these stories and I am very proud to have both books in my personal library. These are two books that in my opinion should be a part of every parent’s personal library because they teach important life lessons. If you don’t have these on hand but want to incorporate this lesson with your kids check out the resources below to find the stories online for free.
Typically, we read and discuss these stories separately but this year we are doing things a bit different. This year we are going to tackle these books together comparing and contrasting the books as a whole, the main character, and lessons taught by each story. Below you will find a list of questions I will be asking of each of my children to answer. I think that these questions will help them flush out both stories and really dig into the transformations taken by both of these incredible characters.
The Assignment: My oldest will be answering these questions and turning it into a five paragraph essay while my youngest two will be creating a story plot worksheet for each of the books.
How are Ebeneezer Scrooge and the Grinch similar? How are they different?
How is the setting of each story similar? How are they different?
How does the Grinch change in the story and what caused that change to occur?
How does Ebeneezer Scrooge change in the story and what caused his transformation?
How are the life lessons in both stories similar and/or different?
Which story do you personally feel did a better job teaching the lesson?