The Terrible Teen Stage

handmade sneakers

Photo by Kaboompics .com on Pexels.com

My oldest is almost 13 years old and he is a crazy, funny, unique individual but recently the terrible teen disease has begun to plague him. If you have a child between the ages of 11-13 who is exhibiting the following symptoms your child might also have this obnoxious disease.

  • Moodiness
  • Suddenly knows everything under the sun
  • Argumentative
  • Clumsy
  • Forgetful
  • Accident-prone
  • Strange odors emitting from body
  • Refuses to change clothing
  • Eyes rolling

 

In all honesty the terrible teen stage is not that different from the terrible twos with the exception of temper tantrums. So far I haven’t seen any signs that my 12 year will fling himself to the floor in fits of emotion but I will keep you updated on that situation. I survived the terrible twos so I am pretty confident that I can handle the terrible teen stage too but only time will tell.

This is such an awkward time for kids because they are in between childhood and adulthood and everything in life seems dire. It’s equally painful for us parents because we have to come to grips with the fact that our children are no longer little caterpillars. In fact they are going through the final metamorphosis to become full-fledged butterfly’s ready to make their way in the world. It’s a beautiful, awkward, and painful transition for both parties.

 

 

adult art artist artistic

Photo by Anthony on Pexels.com

 

Toddlers afflicted with the terrible twos act out because they are learning how to communicate and understand the world around them. Pre-teens and teenagers are attempting to do the same thing they are learning how to communicate, understand and participate in a world of adults all while dealing with the physical and hormonal changes brought on by puberty. I remember living through this stage of life and I wouldn’t go back if you paid me a million bucks.

Whenever the eye rolling or moodiness gets to me I do my best to remind myself of my own teen years. I draw on empathy, patience and my abundance of love for him to help me through the trying times. If your child is also going through the terrible teen stage remember to…

  • be patient
  • pick your battles
  • follow through on punishment
  • keep open lines of communication
  • help them set short term and long term goals
  • keep life simple when they are feeling overwhelmed
  • remember to tell them you love them often
  • keep an arsenal of room freshner on hand and a window cracked for fresh air

 

The terrible teen stage doesn’t last forever and with faith, love and family on our side we can get through any challenge life might throw our way.

grayscale photo of man woman and child

Photo by Kristin De Soto on Pexels.com

 

If you have survived the terrible teen stage let us know how you made it through!

 

 

Advertisements

Introducing Blackberry Ridge

closeup photo of black and red round fruit

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

We are about to do one of the craziest things we have ever done in our entire lives. We are in the process of packing up our life in the Midwest and moving to our property in southern Tennessee. This past weekend we spent a few days visiting our property and mapping out our ideas for our mountain side homestead. This was my first time visiting Tennessee and I have to say that it is one of the most beautiful places I have visited. I was enthralled by the rolling landscape, the southern hospitality and the serene quiet of our little woodland property.

20190304_124408

We found this property just around Christmas time and fell in love with the pictures of the property. After a great deal of research and phone calls to ensure this wasn’t a scam we put down our deposit without actually setting foot on the property. Thursday night we loaded our little car up and made our first treck down to the property. When we arrived in Tennessee it was just after 7pm and after checking into our hotel we couldn’t help ourselves we had to see our property even though darkness had fallen. The drive out to our property was exciting but we were also feeling a bit uncertain. Once we arrived we got out and took in all that we could see with flashlights and the uncertainty grew. We went back to the hotel with heavy hearts not sure if we had made the right decision. Having lived in Southeast Michigan and Northwest Ohio we weren’t prepared for how hilly Tennessee really was and we were expecting our property to be a tad more level.

20190304_112955

After a long night of sleep we drove back out to the property to see what we had with the light of day. The second time viewing the property washed away all of our uncertainty. We fell in love with the property all over again and spent the day walking our property line and exploring our little wood. One of the things that I love about the property the most is the running stream there is nothing more soothing than the sounds of water bubbling over rock and stone. During our exploration we discovered a hidden pond full of aquatic life and a bubbling spring. This property is definitely wild and it is going to take a lot of work to clear areas for our house, gardens and chicken coop but I know in my heart that it will be worth it in the long run. A lot of people would walk away from this property because of the hard work needed to make this a livable spot but we are up for the challenge. In fact I have never been more excited to do anything in my entire life.

20190303_134529

While enjoying our future home we noticed some physical changes with ourselves and our children. Every one of us battles congestion and allergies and for us it is just the way of life but within hours of being in Tennessee our congestion cleared. My husbands dry eyes improved and our youngest kids who have “allergy shiners” lost their black eyes. In fact my daughter who is rather pale had a healthy pink glow that we had never seen before. The fresh mountain air is so clean and pure and obviously much healthier than the air we breathe in Toledo that I think perhaps our overall health will improve with this move.

20190303_124312

 

I am so grateful to have found this property and already I am accumulating ideas for our future home. We applied for an address and began kicking around ideas for naming our property. When we were exploring our property we kept getting tangled up in these rose bush like vines growing up around the trees. We weren’t sure what these were but after some online research we discovered that we have wild blackberries growing everywhere. This inspired the name for our property which will now be known as “Blackberry Ridge”. I can’t wait to go back down in a few months to harvest some of those blackberries and make a delicious jam.

IMG_20190304_122012

So as you can see this is pretty crazy moving our family hundreds of miles to a wooded property in Southern Tennessee. While it may be crazy we feel that God is moving us down this path and that this move will be the best thing for our family and especially our kids. We want them to have a safe environment to run, skip and play. We want them to learn valuable skills that will build character and make them appreciate the things in life that really matter. So while it may be crazy this will be an adventure that our family will remember for a lifetime. Our hearts are filled with hope and joy as we plan out the details that will help us down the path to “Blackberry Ridge”.

beam cabin clouds country

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

 

Homeschooling on the Run!

automobile automotive blurred background car

Photo by Nubia Navarro (nubikini) on Pexels.com

Have you ever had one of those days where you have your day planned out and then something happens and everything gets flipped upside down? Well, I have those days quite a bit, I feel like I am always on the go and sometimes this creates issues with my homeschool routine. Luckily over the years I have learned the value in flexibility and have learned how to homeschool on the run. This skill came in to play the other day when my brother needed a last minute babysitter for his little ones. I packed up my three kids and grabbed a couple of resources that I could use to finish out our homeschool lessons for the day.

I find that the best way to be ready for last minute emergencies or general routine upsets is to have a basket with resources that I can quickly grab. For instance, we are working on the American Revolution so I keep several books and handouts in the basket in case I need them. This basket is kept updated with books and resources that correspond to the topics we are studying. I also keep a few pencils and pads of paper in the car for moments when homeschooling on the run is necessary.

Another great resource for homeschooling on the run is YouTube. On YouTube, you can find a number of documentaries for free that cover a wide range of topics. You can also find educational cartoons, songs and you can even listen to books. I keep a playlist titled homeschool and whenever I find content that I know my kids will enjoy I add it to that playlist. Most cars these days allow you to connect your phone through the speakers via Bluetooth but if your car doesn’t have this feature you can invest in a wireless Bluetooth speaker that will play content from your phone or tablet. This is truly a great way to homeschool on the run and not only are your kids learning but they are being entertained as well.

I also like to engage my kids in lively discussion as we homeschool on the run.  This is a great way to see how much information they are retaining and to review pertinent information. You can also practice math facts and spelling words and trivia as you are going down the road. One day we were in the car for an extended period of time and I had the kids making up silly poems about random nouns. This was a lot of fun and we created some very interesting poems that day.

If you are in a season of life where you feel like you are constantly on the go and feel like your homeschool is suffering give homeschooling on the run a try. Find resources, games and audio content and keep them readily available for those days when life gets hectic. The greatest perk of homeschooling is that you can homeschool anywhere and everywhere. It doesn’t matter if the learning happens at the kitchen table, in the car, on the beach or at the home of a friend. The only thing that matters is that you keep those kids learning even on the run.

green rice field

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Pexels.com

Additional ideas for homeschooling on the run…

*listen to a podcast

*hear a book with audible or another audio book service

*madlibs

*educational dvds/cds

*listen to music… classical, jazz, big band etc.

*listen to theatrical plays

*learn a foreign language

 

There are so many great resources out there and most of them can be found for free. Have you found a great resource that would help others homeschool on the run? If so please share in the comments below.

A Homeschooling Mom’s Stance on Abortion

adorable baby baby feet beautiful

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Many women like to argue that abortion is their right because they have the right to do what they want with their own bodies. Some argue that abortions are necessary to help women who have been victims of rape and incest. Others think that it is some sort of rite of passage and that all women should experience an abortion at least once in their lifetime. I find this not only troubling but down right horrifying that so many people are okay with women aborting their babies. In fact the state of New York just signed The Reproductive Health Act into law which allows women to abort their babies up to 24 weeks for any reason and up to the baby’s due date if the mother expresses a health issue like stress. I don’t care what the circumstances are abortion is murder and murder should be illegal.

Abortion statistics from the CDC and the Guttmacher Institute show that the largest number of abortions occur among unmarried women in their 20s. Less than 1% of women who underwent abortions reported being a victim of rape or incest as their reason for receiving the procedure. In fact most women who received the procedure reported that they were making the decision because the baby would impact their life path in what they felt was a negative way. Basically, they made a mistake and instead of taking on the challenge of motherhood they instead want to erase their actions with an abortion.

I believe that women have the right to make choices with their own body but abortion is not a choice it is an immoral act. If you are not ready for children for one reason or another then don’t engage in sexual activity abstinence won’t kill you I promise. Whenever you engage in sexual activity there is a possibility that you will get pregnant and you have a responsibility to carry that child to viability. If you don’t want to be a parent you can place your child up for adoption there are so many wonderful people out there who want to be parents.

I don’t believe that children are consequences. I believe that children are blessings from God. As a society we should be finding ways to help young people find the support they need to make good choices. Women need to set good examples for their daughters so their daughters can make good decisions about sexual relationships. Men need to set good examples for their sons and teach their sons that they have responsibilities as well. Hollywood actresses shouting their abortions shouldn’t be role models for our children instead they should be cautionary tales uses to teach life lessons. We need to teach our children that life is not a video game where you can just hit reset and start fresh. In life OUR CHOICES determine the path we take in life and we have a responsibility to accept the path and learn how to navigate the rough patches.

Abortion doesn’t stop you from being a parent it makes you a parent who decided that you were too selfish and scared to allow your child the right to life.
Sources:

https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/67/ss/ss6713a1.htm

https://abort73.com/abortion_facts/us_abortion_statistics/

https://www.guttmacher.org/sites/default/files/pdfs/tables/370305/3711005t3.pdf

https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/induced-abortion-united-states

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-46994583

 

You CAN Cook!

person picking food on tray

Photo by Craig Adderley on Pexels.com

When my husband and I first got married almost 13 years ago I did not know a thing about budgeting or meal planning. This lead to us spending an exorbitant amount of money on groceries every week and put us deeply into debt. It took hitting rock bottom for me to realize that I needed to change the way we were doing things and this is when I began my education into home management. I realized that I needed to reduce our grocery budget and I had two options stop eating all together or make food from scratch. I enjoy food too much to give it up all together so I decided to start making as much as possible from scratch. It didn’t take long to see the benefit of making meals instead of buying processed food.

Over the years I have had people ask me how I am able to save so much money on groceries and when I explain how, I get the same token excuse, “I wish I could do that but I just can’t cook”. I have talked with moms who are spending $250 a week on microwaveable food because it is quick and easy but unwilling to try a different approach because they don’t think they can cook or simply don’t want to try. The truth is anyone can cook it just takes a little confidence, patience and motivation. The motivation part is easy if your trying to save money but I understand that confidence and patience can take a little time to acquire.

My advice is to start small don’t attempt to cook everything in your cookbook instead find a few simple recipes and practice those. Once you have them down you will feel more confident and with confidence comes patience. Soon you will be confident enough to tackle a variety of recipes. You may even find that you enjoy cooking because not only are you saving money but your feeding your family food that is actually good for them. Even if you don’t find enjoyment in cooking for your family you should still do it because like all chores it is necessary. Processed foods aren’t meant to be consumed at every meal despite what advertisers may tell us because they are too high in sodium, sugar, fat and too many chemicals to list.

Processed Food=Disease + Debt

If your grocery budget is out of control and your freezer is packed with frozen meals than this message is for you. In order to get control of your budget you need to scrounge up a few recipes and get into your kitchen. I know that it’s scary but in this wonderful world of technology you can find YouTube videos, blog post and Pinterest boards to help you navigate your kitchen. YOU CAN COOK! Your family will appreciate it, your health will appreciate it and you will appreciate the extra money in your pocket book. Start the New Year off with a plan to live better and feed your family better food.

 

 

 

The Homeschooler and the Interloper

ask blackboard chalk board chalkboard

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Let me set the scene we are at a birthday party with a group of family members and everyone is having a good time. There is a gorgeous cake on the table, laughter in the air and kids of all ages are running around enjoying themselves. I see my youngest two playing with friends and when I look to see where my 12 year old is I find him cornered by an adult who is quizzing him on everything from states & capitals, timetables to the world of politics. My son has that deer stuck in headlights look as he looks to me for assistance not because he can’t answer the questions but because they are being fired at him like bullets from an AK-47.  I immediately step in to release my son from the interloper’s stronghold. I spend the rest of the afternoon keeping one eye on the interloper and the other eye on my children; not really a fun way to spend an afternoon.

Over the years I have encountered a number of these interlopers some are family members, some are friends while most are strangers. They all have good intentions and I know that they do not mean any true harm but it can be pretty stressful dealing with them. I am always open to dialogue and if these individuals want to discuss why and how I homeschool that would be great. Instead, they choose to quiz my kids in an effort to find something they may not know so they can have evidence that homeschooling doesn’t work. I disagree with the way the public schools teach but I don’t walk around quizzing public school students in an effort to prove I am right. My kids should be afforded the same respect as any other child and they should be able to enjoy a fun activity without being bombarded with questions. I do my best to intervene in these situations by distracting the interloper with conversation and that usually works.

If you are a homeschooler who has dealt with an interloper let me know how you have handled these encounters in the comments below. I would love to see how other moms and dads manage these types of scenarios.

 

The World Is A Scary Place

administration-america-art-345092

Photo by Public Domain Photography from Pexels

Life in the United States has become fraught with political, racial and sexual tension. You can’t turn on the television or open a paper without being inundated with all of the anger and animosity being played out all across the country. It’s scary for me as an adult to witness all this turmoil and its even scarier for my kids. My husband and I have chosen to not shelter our children from the chaos of the world instead we have used current events to inspire discussion. Through discussion, we have been able to answer a lot of their questions and we have helped them feel safe in this scary world. I believe that change starts small and that by raising my children to be intelligent, honest, and compassionate people they will become productive adults who can impact the world positively.

Knowing that I am raising good people does my heart good and fills me with hope for the future but still, I am exhausted by all of the anger. What happened to civility? Why can’t people share different opinions with each other and engage in civil discussion? We should celebrate our differences in opinion and work to find common ground. Instead, people are happy to tear one another apart, disown family members, shame one another and verbally and physically assault others. History has shown us so many times in the past the consequence of not finding common ground. It was a 156 years ago when political, racial and sexual tensions ripped this nation apart and started the Civil War. I wish people would stop and think about their actions and reevaluate what is important.

This is the advice that I have given to my children: Treat others with respect and use your voice to calmly express your opinions because nobody understands someone who is yelling. Always try to view the situation from someone else’s perspective and do not let pride, anger or passion prevent you from seeing the truth. If you are passionate about something make sure you have researched your opinion so you can engage in intelligent debate. Most importantly never forget the value of honesty and integrity.

 

It’s not our differences that separate us in this world it is our actions.

                                                                                                          -Hectic Eclectic Mama

Chasing My Tail

acorns autumn autumn decoration autumn leaves

Photo by Caleb Wood on Pexels.com

If you have ever had the pleasure of owning a dog at some point in time you have watched that dog begin the impossible task of chasing its tail until it collapses into exhaustion. I have a dog that spends a great deal of time chasing her tail and I always find myself wondering what is going on in her head and today I learned firsthand how she feels and its absolute frustration. I have this insight because today I have spent the entire day chasing my own tail and it wasn’t until 5 pm this evening that I finally identified why I was chasing my tail, I forgot to drink coffee. I don’t know how I did this since I am pretty much 90% coffee and 10% water but somehow I forgot the most important part of my day outside of breathing.

I was telling my eleven year old that I was feeling a little more chaotic than usual and he pointed out that he hadn’t seen me drink any coffee. Apparently my kids pay close attention to my coffee consumption because they have learned that the secret to happy mama is an adequate supply of coffee. Now that I have received my daily dose of coffee I am feeling much better and more focused. I will be sure to not make this mistake again in fact I have already programmed my coffeemaker for tomorrow morning.

Today was one of those Hectic Eclectic days where I bounced out of bed and straight into the car and that is how I missed the most important part of my day. I think as parents we often forget to take care of ourselves but in order for us to be productive parents and adults we can’t forget to take a few minutes each day to do something simple like enjoy a cup of coffee. There would have been less chaos and frustration if I had remembered to take a minute for myself. If you are having an abnormally frustrating day and life just seems more complicated than it should take a minute to do something for yourself. Drink a cup of coffee, take  a walk around the block or spend some time enjoying a little solitude.

Have you ever found yourself chasing your tail? What do you do to bring peace to your day?

 

If my life was a game…

pexels-photo-279008.jpeg

If my life was a game it would be “Whack a Mole”. I feel like every time I can safely get my head above ground life comes by and gives me a good hard whack. Recently, I took a step back from a full-time schedule so I could adjust the balance of family, homeschool, and work. Unfortunately, my employer has decided to cut my entire departments hours so now while I am still working it’s not enough to really be a contribution. At the same time that my hours have been cut my youngest son, Daniel needs extensive dental work which requires quite a bit of money out of pocket to complete. I have spent the past few days trying to figure out what my next steps are in life and honestly, all I have been able to do at this point is give myself a headache.

I keep reminding myself that life is full of challenges and this is just another challenge that I need to overcome. Once I have made it past this little hurdle things will be good for awhile and I will be stronger for it. In the meantime, I am going to take this opportunity to focus on tightening our budget and reducing our overall expenses.

When life gets hard it’s important to give yourself time to process. I think it is perfectly okay to have a pity party as long as you limit it’s duration to under 48 hours. Once you have allowed yourself time to emotionally process the situation you can then look at things with a renewed perspective. Sometimes simply looking at things calmy can help you find the answers you are seeking. Another thing that has always helped me weather the storms in my life is to trust my faith in God. God has never let me down and even when things didn’t go the way I wanted them too things always have a way of working out.

How do you handle life’s challenges? If your life was a board game what would it be?